Networking doesn’t have to be a chore. Here are three ways to make it more enjoyable and effective

Does the thought of putting on a fake smile and making idle small talk with strangers in order to advance your career send shivers down your spine? Do you avoid networking as a result? If so, you’re not alone.

People shun networking for a variety of reasons, such as shyness, a lack of confidence, feeling uncomfortable asking for help or because they want to be authentic and avoid “putting on an act.”

However, avoiding networking can be a bad career move. Networking provides valuable benefits, including assistance with work, social and career support, and a way to gain new ideas and business opportunities.

Because of this, it may not come as a surprise to learn that networking has been shown to be associated with career success in the form of salary growth over time, and career satisfaction. In the end, avoiding networking may hurt your career.

Fortunately, there is no need to feel exploitative or awkward about networking—it can be as simple as making new friends. In fact, this is one of the main reasons people engage in networking in the first place.

Dispelling networking myths

Research suggests there are four myths about effective networking. First, some people believe effective networkers are born, not made. This is not true; effective networkers work hard at honing their networking abilities.

Second is the belief that effective networkers exploit other people. On the contrary, the most effective networkers are co-operative and consider building relationships to be an opportunity to give to others, instead of taking.

Third, some think effective networkers shield their networks from others. This is also inaccurate. People who are effective at networking are interested in helping others build their networks too, so they share their contacts with other people. This, in turn, can extend their networks even further.

Fourth, people assume effective networkers stay in constant contact with everyone they know. That would be exhausting. Instead, most networkers prioritize staying in touch with the people who are most important to them at any given time.

Take advantage of opportunities

Based on academic research, books on interpersonal skills and training that targets them, there are three tactics you can implement to get better at networking and reap the associated benefits.

The first is creating and taking advantage of networking opportunities. Join social clubs, sports teams, professional associations, and attend as many work-related events as you can manage.

Prepare yourself for networking events by developing an elevator script to introduce yourself that serves as an ice-breaker. Include something unique and interesting about yourself that will capture people’s interest and remember you, and practice your script so it flows naturally.

If possible, review the participant list before events and make a note of the people you’d like to meet. Research them and their organization online and on social media sites like LinkedIn to learn more about them.

Indeed, you can use social media to your advantage. Research has shown that work-related social media sites can help people develop networks and promote career success. It is the frequency of use, not the number of contacts, that is associated with positive career outcomes.

Build connections

During networking opportunities, aim to meet as many people as possible. One of the most important networking skills is making a good first impression, so, make sure to smile and speak calmly and confidently. Give people your full attention and don’t look around the room like you’re seeking out your next conversation target.

Based either on the research you have done or things you learn while chatting, ask open-ended questions that can stimulate rich conversation and uncover mutual interests.

When networking, it’s OK to ask about personal matters like hobbies and leisure activities—as long as you don’t pry and respect the signals you receive about whether or not people are comfortable discussing these things. Similarly, be willing to appropriately share your own personal interests.

Remember, being professional doesn’t necessarily require being formal. Consider asking someone you know to introduce you to someone you don’t. Always be thinking of how you can help others through your knowledge, skills or existing contacts, but don’t force it. Try to find common ground.

When you leave a conversation, thank the person for their time, ask for their business card or contact information and express your interest in staying in touch.

Maintain connections

After networking opportunities, make notes to remember details about the people you’ve met, including important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. Also, pay attention to important events in your contacts lives such as promotions, and contact them to stay in touch. Don’t use social media for this—it’s too impersonal.

On occasion, send people emails with details you think they’ll find valuable or call them up and go for a coffee or lunch without the sole intention of discussing business. Be friendly, and always convey that you have time for people.

If all this sounds intimidating, take comfort in knowing that one study found that only 2% of managers were effective at all of the networking skills the researchers identified. In other words, most people are still learning and improving.

Nobody is perfect at networking, but we can all improve with practice. With a little effort, you can network like a pro. If you do it right, it won’t feel exploitative because you won’t be manipulating anyone. It won’t feel awkward either, because you’ll simply be allowing your strengths and personality to shine. You may even find that networking is fun and enriches not only your career, but your life.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.