Australians excel at many things. We cover ourselves in sporting glory all over the world, we send our best and brightest to dominate Hollywood, we produce medical breakthroughs and technical advancements that punch well above our weight for a nation with a population just shy of 27 million.
But there is one thing that we really do better than anyone else.
In fact, I would speculate that no other nation on Earth can best us at this one particular thing: the giving of nicknames.
Macca, Dazza, Bazza and Kazza. Damo, Kato, Marko and Robbo. Shaz and Maz. Flo, Floss, Banjo and Blue. And those are just the basics.
Our Prime Minister is called Albo, his predecessor was ScoMo. If Peter Dutton wants half a shot at leading this country, he better come up with a decent nickname for himself because nature (Australians) hates a vacuum (lack of a nickname).
I have never had a boss who went exclusively by their given, first name. I’ve had friends for years before discovering what their parents called them.
There were three kids in high school called Bumsmack and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t on their birth certificates.
When I started working in an office, I learnt everyone’s name and then, soon after, their nicknames, which were much more revealing. I would share, but the statute of limitations is yet to pass on a few.
When I was angsting about what to name my first born, a wise friend pointed out that this was Australia: “You can stress about what to call them, but then they will be really into choc milk in primary school and get called Chocco for the rest of their life.”
Good point. There was a kid in school who had a fruit salad for recess once and was called Fruit Bat for years afterwards.
This great Australian tradition, however, is under threat. Last week was, apparently, No Name-calling Week, designed to raise awareness of the harmful effects of name-calling.
The week “shines a spotlight on the profound harms caused by name-calling”, clinical psychologist Rachel Harker wrote in a press release promoting the week. OK, we get it, making fun of people isn’t great, but what if it’s really funny?
“Regardless of its form, name-calling is never acceptable,” she chided. Well geez. Damo never said anything.
Although the Bumsmacks were awfully quiet.
Harker is the founder of a “friendship and dating app” called Tribal, which claims to match you with your kind of people.
My kind of people would give me the most outrageous moniker they could think of, so call me Shania — Tribal’s claims don’t impress me much.
I did a bit of digging and was relieved, and not at all surprised, to learn that No Name-calling Week is a concept that originated in the US, where schoolyard name-calling is out but high-powered rifles are still very much in.
So if someone tells you name-calling is out, tell them to stick a cork in it, Bottle (empty from the neck up).
Name-calling is a great Australian tradition, just don’t be a drongo and keep things kind rather than cruel.
#Belle #Taylor #namecalling #great #Aussie #tradition
