Does hurrying kill niceness? Not for everyone

People in a hurry are less likely to help a stranger in need. But does being in a hurry also reduce niceness? It turns out that this is not always the case, and the key to avoid it is mindfulness.

Niceness is acting in a warm and friendly manner toward others for the benefit of their well-being. Examples include sincerely thanking a store clerk or greeting a co-worker in the hallway because we want to make them feel good. It should be distinguished from politeness, which we express because it is the right thing to do, or because we want to gain something.

Although extensive research has explored larger acts of kindness, such as helping or volunteering, relatively little attention has been given to everyday niceness. “While both helping and everyday niceness are pro-social behaviors, they are not the same—everyday niceness costs nothing. Besides, we have many more opportunities to express niceness every day, practically in every interaction with another person,” says psychologist Olga Białobrzeska, Ph.D. from the Faculty of Psychology at SWPS University in Warsaw.

Olga Białobrzeska and doctoral candidate Dawid Żuk from the Faculty of Psychology, University of Warsaw, decided to investigate whether hurrying affects the expression of niceness. They published their findings in the paper “People Are Less Nice When in a Hurry (But Mindfulness Might Help)” in the Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology.

Personal experience, or perhaps a stereotype?

To test their hypothesis, the researchers conducted four studies involving a total of 722 participants. In the first study, the researchers showed that there was a widespread belief that people are less nice when they are in a hurry. The remaining studies investigated whether this common belief was true.

To that end, in study 2, the researchers induced the feeling of being in a hurry by asking participants to reflect on experiences of hurry in their lives, while the control group focused on relaxation. Next, the researchers tested how the participants would react to an uncomfortable request from a friend. All participants were asked to refuse; the researchers were interested in the way they would do it—whether in a nice manner, with concern for their friend’s well-being, or in an unpleasant manner. Participants experiencing a sense of rush admitted that their refusal was less nice than the refusal of those in the relaxed condition.

In the third study, one group was again induced to feel hurried, while the other was not. The former had to complete a computer task under time pressure, while the latter had more time and did not have to hurry. During the task, an interaction with a stranger was arranged. The researchers examined how nicely the participants would respond to the stranger. Once again, it turned out that those under time pressure admitted that they were less nice to the stranger. The stranger also rated their behavior as less nice.

In the fourth and final study, participants were asked to report their recent experiences of hurrying, and how nice they had been to others. Additionally, participants also completed a trait mindfulness scale (mindfulness is the ability to consciously notice one’s surroundings and own states). The researchers found that the more rushed participants had recently been, the less nice they were to others. However, there was no correlation between rush and niceness in those with high levels of mindfulness. This result indicates that mindful presence can moderate the effect of hurrying on niceness.

Mindfulness as a remedy for a fast-paced life

“Everyday niceness—small, friendly gestures—is crucial for our well-being and interpersonal relationships. Our research shows that people are less nice when they are in a hurry than when they have time and feel relaxed. In today’s fast-paced lives, where people are often in a hurry, this result is especially important. Our research also points to mindfulness as a possible way to maintain niceness, even under pressure,” Białobrzeska emphasizes.

Just as the “slow food” movement has changed our approach to eating, it is time to rethink the way we live. Promoting a slower lifestyle—be it in schools, workplaces, or through social campaigns—offers the opportunity for more niceness, better relationships, and improved well-being, the researcher adds.