Israeli father says even in Hamas captivity, his daughter heard his pleas to come home alive

RAMAT GAN, Israel (AP) — For more than 470 days, Eitan Gonen publicly pleaded with his daughter to stay alive while in Hamas captivity. He didn’t know if she would hear him, but he ended every interview he gave with the same hopeful message: Romi is coming home alive.

When he finally got to speak to his daughter for the first time in 15 months after she and two other women were freed Jan. 19, he got his answer.

“She said, ’Dad, I came home alive,’” Eitan Gonen told The Associated Press on Tuesday in his first interview with an international news outlet since her release.

“I know that my interview back then gave Romi a lot of strength, a lot of hope, something to cling on,” he said.

Romi Gonen, 24, was among the first hostages to be freed from Gaza and one of seven women so far released in exchange for hundreds of Palestinian prisoners as part of the ceasefire, a long and uncertain process aimed at eventually ending the war. Some 250 people were kidnapped during Hamas’ Oct. 7, 2023, attack that triggered the war. About 90 hostages remain in Gaza, although at least a third of them are believed to be dead.

During the ceasefire’s first phase, Hamas agreed to gradually release 33 hostages in exchange for Israel freeing nearly 2,000 Palestinian prisoners. Six more hostages are expected to be released this week in exchange for hundreds of prisoners.

Israel has been preparing for the hostages to return, with the expectation that after more than a year in captivity, many would likely be dealing with life-threatening health issues or other physical and psychological problems. This week, Dr. Ami Benov, who is working with the hostages, told reporters that the women were in poor physical condition and would face a lengthy recovery process, as they suffered from “mild starvation” and vitamin deficiencies.

Sitting in a complex in central Israel where his daughter and some of the other freed hostages are staying, Eitan Gonen wouldn’t comment on Romi’s health but said there’s a long road ahead.

“The rehabilitation status just started,” he said. Because she spent so long in captivity, the family isn’t pressuring her to speak. Instead, they are trying to give her autonomy and control, and to let her take things at her own pace, he said.

Like many others, Romi was taken captive at the Nova music festival. That morning, her sister and mother, Merav Leshem Gonen, spent nearly five hours speaking to Romi as militants marauded through the festival grounds. Romi told her family that she would try to hide in the bushes, as the roads being clogged with abandoned cars made escape impossible.

For nearly two months, her family had no idea if she was dead. They only learned she was alive from other hostages who were freed during a weeklong ceasefire a month after the attack, Eitan Gonen said.

Praising his daughter’s strength, he said she survived in part by learning Arabic, as it was the only way to communicate with her captors.

“Human beings will do anything to survive. Anything. And since the terrorists don’t speak any other language other than Arabic, she didn’t have any chance in order to communicate with them — to start learning their language,” he said, noting that she has even spoken it at times since being freed, likely out of habit.

Something else that helped her stay alive was the support from other hostages, Eitan Gonen said. For a period, Romi was held with Emily Damari, a British-Israeli hostage who was released along with her. “I believe God set it up somehow that Emily and Romi … had each other to survive. … It’s a dynamic duo,” he said.

Other released hostages expressed similar sentiments about their own time in captivity. Israeli soldier Naama Levy, who was released Saturday, wrote in an Instagram post that after spending 50 days mostly alone, she was given strength when she was reunited with other kidnapped soldiers.

Being held hostage with someone can provide strength through a shared fight for survival in the face of unimaginable adversity, said Dr. Einat Yehene, a psychologist who specializes in trauma and loss.

Even though he finally got his daughter back, Eitan Gonen is still urging the Israeli government to keep working to bring home all of the remaining hostages. And he urges the families of hostages to keep giving interviews in all languages and mediums, to maintain the pressure and let their relatives know they haven’t been forgotten.

But he’s mostly focusing on spending time with his daughter.

“I just enjoy being with her even in silence, touching, hugging, watching her,” he said. “I missed it so much.”

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Associated Press reporter Melanie Lidman in Tel Aviv contributed to this report.